I will try to do this everyday… to appreciate the little things that made me smile and warm and fuzzy each day:)

(plus I’m bored)

1) Watching My First Romance on Cinema One! — John Lloyd/Bea , John/Heart ftw! hahaha!!! lovettt
2) Paying all my credit card debts! WIPEEE!!! I’m debt free!
3) The new Bejeweled Blitz on facebook — grr I still couldn’t get my old high score back!!!
4) Impromptu night out with Pao — he missed his flight to BKK tonight so he invited me for drinks… but we ended up eating at Flapjacks at the UP Ayala Technohub… I had a cokelight float and french toast! YUMMY!
5) MMG DDP Farewell Party — never thought I’d be able to go… but I got dragged by Pao and Alfred to go to the farewell party of DDP… Videoke galore!!! Imma miss them! :’-(

It’s almost 5AM in the morning. I was sleepy a few hours ago but decided to keep someone company online — who is now sleeping I believe.

But now I’m wide awake and a bit restless. I guess I really have to write it down. I haven’t been in my tippytop cheery self lately as everything seems to crumble around me. Depressed, yes. Restless, yes. Hopeless, a bit. Lonely, hell yeah.

I have never ever felt more alone in my life until now.

So let me try to take this out of my cloud. Let me at least write ONE thing down.

I am happy for you. And I really wish you all the best. They say you could never truly unlove a person — well, I have to admit, it slightly stings until now. But I have no regrets – just only a few memories in hand.

Sometimes I still find myself thinking of what happened back then – rationalizing in my head what must have gone wrong or what really lead to the end. I guess I’ll never know the reason now.I moved on without knowing how and why. We just have to put it that way. And that will never change.

Maybe what bothers me is this — that I will never find someone like you. Or at least find another love I can call my own. Many times has this little heart been broken and is continuously being so. I fear that I will never find anyone who can take care of this mangled heart of mine. Call me a pessimist — but I’m just trying to be realistic. Oh well. That’s how life goes, right?

I will cry for you for the very last time with grateful bittersweet tears. Not because I am still hurting — that would be just too absurd. Because I want to say thank you. And because I could really no longer remember how and why… all I remember is that I loved. And I was loved…the best way you knew how.

I think this realization makes me feel like I’m in rock bottom.

I realized that all my life, I have loved other people, school, work– so much but they have not loved me back in return.

You give without expecting anything in return. That’s what a friend told me. But is life always going to end up like this? That I am always going to get the shorter end of the deal?

In life and in love, I have never been the lucky one.

I’m tired of not getting back in return.

I’m tired. I’m done. Ubos na ako.

I just want to be taken cared of

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Okay pa. kaya pa.

Pero konti na lang luluha na ako.

“And it came to me then. That we were wonderful traveling companions but in the end no more than lonely lumps of metal in their own separate orbits. From far off they look like beautiful shooting stars, but in reality they’re nothing more than prisons, where each of us is locked up alone, going nowhere. When the orbits of these two satellites of ours happened to cross paths, we could be together. Maybe even open our hearts to each other. But that was only for the briefest moment. In the next instant we’d be in absolute solitude. Until we burned up and became nothing.”

— Haruki Murakami (Sputnik Sweetheart)

A little makulit boy was born…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my bestest friend in the whole wide world…

Luckily, we’re still here…

Mwahugs

You know that i lubs you. XOXO

“Stone Hearts & Hand Grenades”

You were like a crash of thunder
Look through my darkest nights
You awaken all my senses made me feel alive
Even if we try to fight it, we know that the sparks will fly
Cause in the end, we’re just two people destine to collide

Like stone hearts and hand grenades
You and I are not the same
There is nothing that I will change
Stone hearts and hand grenades
All my lonely, you throw it all away
(And) when you need me, I will keep you safe

After that all the dust is settle
We lift each other off the ground
I’ll carry you a million miles
I’ll never let you down
(Noo)
There’s a lot of strength in weakness
There’s a lot of truth in lies
But in the end, we’re just two people destined to collide

Like stone hearts and hand grenades
You and I are not the same
There is nothing that I will change
Stone hearts and hand grenades

All my lonely, you throw it all away
(And) when you need me, I will keep you safe
All my loneliness, you throw it all away
(Awayyy, away, awayy)

Like stone hearts and hand grenades
You and I are not the same
There is nothing that I will change

Stone hearts and hand grenades
Stone hearts and hand grenades

All my lonely, you throw it all away
When you need me, I will keep you safe
All my lonely, you throw it all away
When you need me, I will keep you safe
All my lonely, you throw it all away
When you need me, I will keep you safe
All my lonely, you throw it all away
When you need me, I will keep you safe

Oooh hooOOooo ….yeah

I kept the flowers, the candy, the letter that you wrote to me
and I laughed a long time
as it all went up in smokes
It was funny

[bridge]
See I don’t care
No I don’t care
‘Cause you don’t care
So I don’t care anymoreee

[chorus]
It was eaaaaaaa-sy
easy to love me
But you didn’t even want to try
So it was eeasssss-sy
easy to leave you

Goodbye

Goodbye

Goodbye

I got all your messages on my phone
and the texts as well
I will be changing my number tomorrow
and my email

[bridge]
Because I don’t care ( don’t matter what you try to say )
No I don’t care ( don’t you realise it’s too late )
‘Cause you didn’t care a thing , so why should I care now

See around

[chorus]
It was eaaaaaaa-sy
Easy to love me
But you didn’t even want to try ( didn’t even want to try )
So it was eeasssss-sy ( easy )
Easy to leave you ( leave you )

Goodbye

Goodbye

Goodbye

Said i remember
How much i cried
Inside a part of me died
Oh..Unfortunately for you
It was the part of me that gave a damn about your life

Shoulda been easy …ooh..

Easy to love me .. oh…

Ohh! should’ve been easy

[chorus]
It was eaaaaaaa-sy
Easy to love me ( to love me )
But you didn’t even want to try ( you didn’t even want to try )
So it was eeasssss-sy ( easy )
Easy to leave you ( to leave you )

Goodbye

Goodbye

Goodbye

Should’ve been easy
Should’ve been easy
Should’ve been easy

Goodbye

Goodbye

Goodbye

Should’ve been easy
Should’ve been easy
Should’ve been easy

Goodbye

Goodbye

Goodbye…

just one wrong move.