Goodbye 2011. Goodbye Blog

I write this with all the excitement in my heart. 2011 has been a life altering year. It was the year that changed the course of my life in more ways than one. Despite the bad, I would always always look back to 2011 with a smile on my face.

With everything that’s happening right now, I’d like to think that this is the right opportunity to start anew. This blog has allowed me to put into words what I felt. It has been instrumental in the journey I took the past few years, with each post documenting monumental, sometimes insignificant moments of my life. I learned. I wrote. I learned some more. And I felt every single piece of memory that has gone by.

While I will still keep this blog in this space of the internet in some random server in another side of the world, I will start a new blog elsewhere. This new beginning deserves a new home. Away from all the sadness and the tears. While there have been some beautiful things written here in this old blog of mine, I think this new blog I’m going to start deserves to be separated entirely.

2012 will involve a lot of new beginnings for me. And I will commemorate that by moving out of this blog for good.

—-

I have moved on. Thank you for the good memories. Thank you for the friendship that we had. My strength as a person now can only be attributed to everything we have been through. I’d like to look back at it as a necessary phase in life I had to go through so I can be where I am right now. Thank you for the learnings. Thank you. I wish you the best in life.

—-

And as for YOU. Thank you for turning around my 2011. In the right time, I’ll get to say what I’ve always wanted to say to you. But until then, trust in my stubbornness and determination to get what I want.

How do you know when you’ve found the one? You just know it.

What do you do when you know you’ve found the one? You put a post-it on his forehead that says “SAVE”.

Thank you, Eric. This one’s for you. Happy 2012.

Random Ramblings

Dear You,

Hello. You will never get to read this. Maybe you will. Depends on what’s gonna happen next. Maybe I’ll do get to put that post-it on your forehead. It’s just that things are too tricky to do anything, really. But but but, more than anything, I do hope you resolve things sooner rather than later. I would really love not to wait further. We’ll see.

In that short amount of time, I just know it. And I think you really know it too. Maybe I will find out more about you. And you’ll get to know me more too. But don’t be afraid. I think I can handle everything.

Mahirap ba kamo? Bring it.

I think I’ve gone to hell and back. And you won’t be as near as what I’ve been through before. You will be easy — if things don’t work out well.

Let me figure you out. Let me in. Let go of the things that hurt.

11:11 on 11-11-11

Tags

#wish

One word. Three letters.

YOU.

May I

And there you stand opened heart–opened doors
full of life with the world that’s wanting more.
But I can see when the lights start to fade, 
the day is done and your smile has gone away. 

Let me raise you up.
Let me be your love.

May I hold you
as you fall to sleep,
when the world is closing in
and you can’t breathe.
May I love you.
May I be your shield.
When no one can be found
may I lay you down.

All I want is to keep you safe from the cold…
to give you all that your heart needs the most.

Let me raise you up
Let me be your love

May I hold you
as you fall to sleep.
When the world is closing in
and you can’t breathe,
may I love you.
May I be your shield.
When no one can be found,
may I lay you down.

All that’s made me (made me)
Is all worth trading (worth trading)
just to have one moment with you.
So I will let go (will let go) 
all that I know (that I know) 
knowing that you’re here with me. 

For your love is changing me.

May I hold you
as you fall to sleep.
When the world is closing in
and you can’t breathe,
may I love you.
May I be your shield.
when no one can be found
may I lay you down

Buwan

Walang bumalik… Hindi na sya kailan man babalik.

—-

Nakaupo sa may bintana
Habang hinihintay ka
Ganda ng langit ay pinagmamasdan
Araw’y nagpapaalam na
Unti-unting naglaho ang liwanag
Bituin ay nagdatingan
Mga mata’y nakamasid
Sa nag-iisang
Nakasilip na buwan

Nakaupo sa may bintana
Habang pinapangarap ka
Pangungulila’y labis nang nadarama
Sana’y magbalik na
Araw at buwan ay nagbalikan na
Upang ako ay bantayan
Ngunit wala ka pa rin
Ang tangi kong kapiling
Ay ang liwanag nang nakasilip na buwan

Chorus:
Ilang buwan na rin ang nagdaan
Mula ng ika’y lumisan
Saksi ang buwan ng ako’y pangakuang
Magbabalik, sa pagbabalik ng liwanag ng langit

Mga bitui’y kumukutitap,
Waring sila’y nagsasaya
Ngunit katulad ko, tuwina’y nag iisa
Magsumbong man sa kanya, walang magagawa
Kundi ang lumuha

Ilang buwan na rin ang nagdaan
Mula ng ika’y lumisan
Saksi ang buwan ng ako’y pangakuang
Magbabalik ooh
Sa pagbabalik
Ng liwanag ng langit

Nakaupo sa may bintana

October

“You have a knack of making people feel that what happens to them really matter to you. And that’s what you’ve done to me all month long.”

Because they really do matter to me.

Don’t settle for October. November and December will both be better, yes?

The Questions I Dare Not Ask

I know you ask me a lot of questions. And I answer almost all of them happily and honestly. But I could not do the same — perhaps I am afraid of the answers that you might say.

What about the road trip?

What about the prayers in the morning?

What about the cardboard with that good night?

What about seeking clearance?

What about cupcakes with the note?

What about three movies in 24 hours?

What about your car? And the car you wanted?

What about now? Is something wrong?

Maybe it’s just me. And I’ll keep things to myself. Until you figure things out. These things will not mean anything to me.

Sustagen @ Starbucks

Thank you

I have to write this down

I hope I get to laugh at this months later. And I do hope I am wrong. I wish all the things I think I know about you is wrong. I have my fingers crossed.

It’s just so easy to talk to you. And laugh at you. And laugh with you.

I need a sign…

Butterflies?

Wow

I found this writeup on Multiply. My dear friend back in high school wrote this for me. I just want to put it somewhere I can see it regularly to always keep me grounded. Thanks Lopao

To most of PSHS class of 2002, Carla Cheryl Cordova will always be highly regarded as the epitome of the achiever. The class salutatorian, female model student and 3 term batch vice president never fails to impress with her brilliance, determination, dedication, grace under pressure and charm. To a lot of her batchmates, she will always be one of those people to be admired and emulated. Indeed with just these three sentences, a profile of greatness and genius already emerges. Viewed from her well-deserved position on the pedestal of acclaim, Miss Carla Cheryl Cordova is truly amazing.

To those who know her best, those who call her “Apple” with such fondness, to describe her as “amazing” is a gross understatement. Up close and personal, one gets to see that there is much more to Apple than all of her glittering achievements put together. Down from the pedestal of acclaim, one gets to truly appreciate the sincerity and integrity of her character. To know her on a really personal level exposes you to her seemingly boundless selflessness and generosity. Always willing to help other people in any way that she can, she always has this ready smile and a kind word to say to those who need them most. She never passes up on an opportunity to provide a shoulder to cry on or offer a helping hand. It doesn’t matter to Apple if your problem seems so trivial or if it actually is truly life shattering. She will be there for you and care for you and with you even beyond the point where it hurts. She listens well, gives excellent advice and always manages to give encouragement no matter how difficult or hopeless your problem may seem to be.

It is not surprising to be intimidated by Carla Cheryl Cordova the achiever, model student and all around genius. It is not unexpected to measure her greatness by using her collective achievements as a yardstick. It is very easy to value her worth as a person based only on such things. To do all of these however is great folly.

Knowing Apple off that pedestal, as a person, with her hair down and in her moments of weakness one would come to a certain realization. All of the so called glory and greatness don’t really matter to her. That’s why these things have never even come close to getting to her head. All Apple wants is to be remembered as a person who was able to touch lives and effect positive changes through the little and the not so little things that she was able to do.

It is hoped that whenever she would find time or feel the urge to read this she herself would be encouraged and inspired. Because this write up is proof that for at least one person she is sure that she was able to touch a life.

Apple Cordova. The measure of your greatness is not in the things you do, but in the whole of your being, in your character that is oh so true.