This I have to write down. Because it’s getting to be a heavy burden…
My mom’s a tough woman — which then translates to — my family’s a tough unit: we don’t go emo on each other. we don’t even say I love you to each other. feelings are left unsaid and unarticulated most of the time — but we’re sensitive to each other. we just know.
we handle tough times by pretending not to know. for example, break ups usually are dealt with a pat on the back and some quality time with the family. no one dare ask the question WHY until we feel that it’s OKAY to ask and that we can all laugh about it.
I don’t go emo on my family. hahaha. mom has only seen me cry maybe four to five times as I grew older. I only made “sumbong” to my dad ONCE in my entire life. he hasn’t even seen me cry. hahaha I wonder how he’ll react to me crying. I dont show myself crying to the family members. I just hide in my room… I’m iyakin but I dont show it to them…
anyway, the point im trying to make is — I just dont know how we’re going to handle the upcoming change in all of our lives…
and I just heard a while ago that my mom cried over this the other day… and I have only seen her cry for like once or twice… and this made things a lot sadder… because even my mom gets upset about it.
it’s getting a bit heavy… and it’s testing our tough facade…
*sigh*